Museum Week

Okay, sorry, I did not even finish my last challenge. I got distracted by flying to Miami and then getting drunk. I will now finish the challenge:

Day two: did some stuff and then got drunk. Day three: flew to Miami and then got drunk. Day four: went to the Everglades, saw alligators, and then got drunk. Day five: went to the Florida Keys and then got drunk. Day six: went to the beach and then got drunk. Day seven: watched people get tattooed and stayed sober.

Seven Days - Seven Museums (then I am broke)
I have been sober for seven days now, not for a challenge, but just for myself. To some this seems like a short amount of time, as I have a few straightedge friends, Mormon friends and a roommate who is almost at ten years. However, to some (sadly which includes me) this seems like a long time. How did I survive through kickball night without drinking? What do I do on the weekend?

This week, I am becoming an art snob. I will be as pretentious as possible and always have a quick quip on some amateurs attempt of art. I will throw millions at the greatest paint on canvas, to hang in my loft.

That or try and get into as many museums (many equals seven in seven days) for the least amount of money (I am unemployed and some museums have a "suggested donation," which is basically a nice way to say, "bums do not pay").

I am starting this today, on a Saturday (breaking my rules), because there is free entrance at the Brooklyn Museum on the first Saturday of the month.

Have a good weekend, in a few days I will be snobbing all over the place.

Daily Journal: Day One - I Hate Allergies

I...

Awoke.

Ate breakfast;
soy yogurt,
strawberries,
shredded wheat,
orange juice,
allergy pills.

Showered.

Surfed the Web,
chatted,
facebooked.

Ate lunch:
Indian,
chana poori,
aloo gobi matar.

Biked to Manhattan,
biked to Brooklyn,
biked to Gotham Bikes,
biked to Brooklyn Bicycles.

Brought forms to bank,
frame to Tony,
wheels to home.

Got paid.

Worked on my bike.

Watched Family Guy.

Ate dinner,
bean and rice tacos.

Cleaned room,
thoroughly.

Listened to music.

Called Kramer,
got answering machine,
said birthday wishes.

Slept.

Daily Journal

Write It Down
Yesterday, I had an amazing day and wanted to document what I did. I did not.

Today, I will.

Tomorrow, I will.

I will until Sunday.

Seven days, seven journal entries. I am going to write one or more word for each activity I do. Yes, only one word for some activities. You will see.

I am going to document my day now. And wish my BFF Kramer a happy birthday. You will see this in my next post.

Jesus Phone Revived

The iPhone Is Restored
I made it a week and then some without my phone.

The One Time I Wish I Really Had My Phone To Twitter
I was in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn turning left at an intersection on my bike. There was a woman in the crosswalk and an ambulette turning left with me. The woman was screaming, "DON'T HIT ME!" Then the ambulette hit her. It was crazy. It made one of those loud car crunching sounds, like something truly out of a movie or Grand Theft Auto. The woman then yelled at everyone who approached her not to touch her. She then stood up and hobbled away yelling.

New York City is crazy. I wish I had my phone to document that. Oh well, there is always next time New York...

Technology is Crap

Shitty Technology
My iPhone has been dead for a week. I have an appointment with the genius bar tomorrow. Back to the world of people contacting me. Back to the world of text messages, phone calls, voicemail, and email on my phone.

I will also be joining the millions of people with MMS texting when my phone powers up. I can get awesome picture texts of a large shit, like the first MMS text my roommate received.

I was going to upload a picture of pool, but I will refrain.

I hope Apple is able to get my phone working. If not I will have to teach them a lesson and take a dump on their carpet.

Becoming a Luddite

Technology is Whack
After four days without an iPhone I am questioning how useful technology is in my life.

Technology that could have possibly been a little useful during this week:

On Monday, I was going to a bar that I had been to before and knew where it was in a relative 10 by 3 block radius. I found it after 15 minutes of riding down wrong streets. The problem was that I trust my iPhone too much and don't care to actually check where I am going anymore until I am halfway there.

and...

That is it for times when my iPhone would have come in handy. I am doing quite well. Mostly because other technologies have kept me sane:

Instant Messengers - I only used it a few times to text and only one person texted back to it, but it is useful to know that it was there and that if people were not bums and texted back it really would have worked.

E-Mail - I think I used e-mail like five times to tell someone something. It might have been like once or twice instead, but still useful.

The Internet - Mostly for occupying my time that I could spend doing interesting things.

Hulu - The part of the Internet that is the most useful.

Big Screen TV (that is hooked up to the computer which is hooked up to the Internet) - My TV is wonderful, especially when it is playing The Biggest Loser in HD on Hulu. It is crazy how many fat rolls you can see so clearly at the beginning of the season and wondering where that fat will go in the next couple of months.

Food - Most of food is not technology based, but a) I just wanted to say food is awesome and b) I had some soy cheese that was super melty and I don't think that would be possible without some technology advances.

Speedos - Although the Olympics, being the haters they are, decided to ban technologically advanced Speedos, they are awesome and make life easier.

Skirts - For some reason, since I lost my iPhone I spent one night in a skirt. It was actually really comfortable and kept my body cool during a strenuous sport event called kickball. After the game, the skirt made it easy to show off battle wounds on the upper leg below the buttock without having to pull down my pants like Forest Gump.

Microwaves - I do not actually own a microwave and did not use one this week, but if I had one it would have come in handy. Microwaves are very useful.

Technology that failed me and is useless:

Hybrid Bicycles - These bastard children that came from road bikes and mountain bikes are my new nemesis. At the beginning of summer I would have said the complete opposite. Now I realize what they truly are - bikes that get their parts stolen while parked on the street and bikes that break and almost kill you while riding in the street. They also waste my locks by having their carcasses locked in the street rotting.


I now have two days left. I should probably work on getting my phone fixed, as my roommate says it is not a challenge if it is not working; but eh what is the use? MMS text messaging? Oh yeah, thanks AT&T... you wait for my phone to break and then allow me to receive all those cool text pictures I have been missing out on, like the fat naked women. Real awesome.

No iPhone Week

Another Rebirth
Jesus resurrected himself once. This is the second resurrection of this blog.

Then God Said, "your blog is better than my book."

The Jesus Phone Dies
My iPhone decided to not turn on tonight. I plugged it in to revive it, but it just pretends to charge.

iPhone Pretending to Charge


My phone is dead, my blog is dying, I have no job; therefore I will start a challenge.

No iPhone (Cell Phone) Week
This week I will live without my iPhone. I will probably get it fixed and then just watch it sit in a corner collecting dust. As for now, I can't use it anyway.


P.S. - Run to Work Week
I made it. Then my body crashed and my brain malfunctioned and this blog went down in flame, but I am back and refreshed without a job!