No Pants 2k9 (First Challenges Accomplished)

Going vegan was easy. I had been vegan for two years before, so I just had to take the plunge and once I started I had no problems.

Giving up alcohol was a little harder. I went out twice that week where my friends were drinking. I went bowling and would not have minded having a drink, but I didn't.

Wearing no pants was the hardest. Improv Everywhere only lasted a few hours on subways with no pants...



I bike to work. Actually, I bike everywhere. The week started off warm, but then towards the end there was freezing rain... Biking in 20 degree weather with no pants is not the same as riding a subway. I had a few chunks of ice on my leg hairs due to rain freezing on my legs. That was not too fun, but I survived and not once put on pants.

Change, Resolutions, and Wimps

People Are Wimps
I read the article, Why is change so hard?, and it made me feel awesome.

Do people who make resolutions really want to change that aspect of their life? 87% of people who make a resolution on New Year's Day do not want that resolution to come true.* Is it really that hard to change something you want to change?

Shorting Yourself of Life
Wearing shorts in the dead of winter is hard, but it is not the hardest part of the challenge. Explaining to people why I am wearing shorts is harder. Trust me, you do not want to explain to ten people a day why you are wearing shorts when it is below freezing. [I challenge people to not ask so many mundane questions.]

Image Resolutions
Maybe people are just picking resolutions to portray an image. Or maybe it gives you a topic to discuss for three minutes after you run out of ways to express it is cold outside and you have nothing going on it your life. Then, the conversations end and the resolution has no tangible effect on anyone, so it is dropped and forgotten (much like my Marriage Challenge).

Ending Marriage Resolution Sparks Resolution Success!
Getting married would be a severe challenge, but it also seems boring and useless to me, so I never officially started the challenge. Why do gay people even want to get married? Half the population that gets married and then changes their mind (maybe people should make their resolution to get divorced, there might be more success stories for resolutions). The only group that quits something that often are visitors to my blog.*




*This is not a fact. [89% of people who come to my website immediately close the page (that is a fact).]

"You Are Not Wearing Pants"

The following events are in chronological order:

12:01 AM, my post is posted. My pants are still on. I drink champagne. I am not wearing yellow. However, I am not eating food, so I have gone vegan.

12:17 AM, some guy is puking so I let him go into the bathroom ahead of me. Guy exits and I enter. Pants come off. Shorts go on. Drinking Pabst occurs. I am no longer wearing pants and have not eaten anything, but I am not paying any attention to color and am still drinking.

3:39 AM, dancing in short shorts drinking Jameson and water. I have not eaten still, so I have a full three hours of veganism.

2:01 PM, lying in bed, hating 2009 and not wanting to get up. It is freezing in my room, but I put on shorts.

3:15 PM, I go to brunch with a friend. Some girl says, "you are not wearing pants." It sounds weird when someone says you are not wearing pants in public. It sounds like I am a pervert walking around half naked, but this is not true. I am wearing shorts.

4:30 PM, my food finally comes and even though I ordered a tofu scramble breakfast burrito it comes with cheese. Vegan failure. I do order a virgin Bloody Mary, so I am fighting some challenges while losing others. I will get better at this.

5:30 PM, get home and do nothing the rest of the day.

[Whomever decided to put a lot of partying during one night and life changes the next day were idiots.]

Happy New Year! Crazy Special Challenge Time!

It is midnight right now and I am celebrating the New Year blogging...

...or I made it post at midnight to make you think I was a loser, while I actually party.

Being the new year it is time to make resolutions. I am not going to. I think resolutions are bound for failure. I would much rather make goals. Goals give you something to work towards. Resolutions are like going cold turkey and are too much of a challenge. Oh wait, I do challenges...

Here are my impromptu, special edition challenges for the new year:

Colors: A friend of mine wants me to look very carefully at colors. She is way into design and I learned we get a new color of the year. Mimosa (yellow) is totally in. I will be watching out for it (possibly getting into it).

Going Vegan (again): I was vegan for two years about two years ago. I eat about a 95% vegan diet, but that 5% bumps me down to a lowly vegetarian. This week I will claim being a vegan once again and be shunned by real vegans and every other food eater who thinks vegans are crazy.

No Pants: Shorts only this week. Do not fear, it is only supposed to be 20 degrees tonight... Luckily, I am starting off the new year with some new sweat cutoffs from a New Year's party.

No Drinking Alcohol: While I am killing myself riding my bike in short shorts, why not take whiskey out of the situation. The old wives' tale about how whiskey keeps you warm will not be helping me, whether it is true or not. [I have done this before in the past; Alcohol Free Week]

I should start drinking coffee too, so I can get hopped up on caffeine and fight the cold in shorts, but I think that is overkill. I will stick to these four and leave myself a few challenges to come in the new year. Plus coffee is gross, right?


Time to party in style.
No pants... check.
Yellow shirt... check.
Sparkling grape juice... check.
Awesome party time... achieved.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!