No Pants 2k9 (First Challenges Accomplished)

Going vegan was easy. I had been vegan for two years before, so I just had to take the plunge and once I started I had no problems.

Giving up alcohol was a little harder. I went out twice that week where my friends were drinking. I went bowling and would not have minded having a drink, but I didn't.

Wearing no pants was the hardest. Improv Everywhere only lasted a few hours on subways with no pants...



I bike to work. Actually, I bike everywhere. The week started off warm, but then towards the end there was freezing rain... Biking in 20 degree weather with no pants is not the same as riding a subway. I had a few chunks of ice on my leg hairs due to rain freezing on my legs. That was not too fun, but I survived and not once put on pants.

Of Mice And Men (Literally)

Five years ago, I read an article explaining that scientists are trying to genetically modify chimpanzees with human characteristics. At that moment, I decided to go vegetarian. Why? Over the years, I could not really explain my decision, until I read Richard Dawkins Answer To What Will Change Everything in 2009.


When Animals Become Human-like
Mice are becoming men. What happens should animals ever speak? Will it still be okay to kill them, because they were taught Spanish and we cannot converse with them (like we treat citizens who speak another language)?

Utter Pops
Those who think cows will still offer up their utters to humans may be shocked. They should be shocked, as shocked as I was to find how many female Homo-sapiens would offer me their milk.

Waiting For Change
Some may say it has not happened yet. We have no passed the threshold for this to affect us. For me it did not have to happen. Other questions came to my mind: why are certain animals given special treatment while others are slaughtered? Why are dogs and cats considered disgusting to eat, but a pig (which is smarter than both) is treated as a joke in the name of bacon?

Humans For All Their Smarts Are Dumb
Maybe we should not turn animals into human-like creatures, in fear they become illogical and the world collapses into absurdity.

"You Are Not Wearing Pants"

The following events are in chronological order:

12:01 AM, my post is posted. My pants are still on. I drink champagne. I am not wearing yellow. However, I am not eating food, so I have gone vegan.

12:17 AM, some guy is puking so I let him go into the bathroom ahead of me. Guy exits and I enter. Pants come off. Shorts go on. Drinking Pabst occurs. I am no longer wearing pants and have not eaten anything, but I am not paying any attention to color and am still drinking.

3:39 AM, dancing in short shorts drinking Jameson and water. I have not eaten still, so I have a full three hours of veganism.

2:01 PM, lying in bed, hating 2009 and not wanting to get up. It is freezing in my room, but I put on shorts.

3:15 PM, I go to brunch with a friend. Some girl says, "you are not wearing pants." It sounds weird when someone says you are not wearing pants in public. It sounds like I am a pervert walking around half naked, but this is not true. I am wearing shorts.

4:30 PM, my food finally comes and even though I ordered a tofu scramble breakfast burrito it comes with cheese. Vegan failure. I do order a virgin Bloody Mary, so I am fighting some challenges while losing others. I will get better at this.

5:30 PM, get home and do nothing the rest of the day.

[Whomever decided to put a lot of partying during one night and life changes the next day were idiots.]

Happy New Year! Crazy Special Challenge Time!

It is midnight right now and I am celebrating the New Year blogging...

...or I made it post at midnight to make you think I was a loser, while I actually party.

Being the new year it is time to make resolutions. I am not going to. I think resolutions are bound for failure. I would much rather make goals. Goals give you something to work towards. Resolutions are like going cold turkey and are too much of a challenge. Oh wait, I do challenges...

Here are my impromptu, special edition challenges for the new year:

Colors: A friend of mine wants me to look very carefully at colors. She is way into design and I learned we get a new color of the year. Mimosa (yellow) is totally in. I will be watching out for it (possibly getting into it).

Going Vegan (again): I was vegan for two years about two years ago. I eat about a 95% vegan diet, but that 5% bumps me down to a lowly vegetarian. This week I will claim being a vegan once again and be shunned by real vegans and every other food eater who thinks vegans are crazy.

No Pants: Shorts only this week. Do not fear, it is only supposed to be 20 degrees tonight... Luckily, I am starting off the new year with some new sweat cutoffs from a New Year's party.

No Drinking Alcohol: While I am killing myself riding my bike in short shorts, why not take whiskey out of the situation. The old wives' tale about how whiskey keeps you warm will not be helping me, whether it is true or not. [I have done this before in the past; Alcohol Free Week]

I should start drinking coffee too, so I can get hopped up on caffeine and fight the cold in shorts, but I think that is overkill. I will stick to these four and leave myself a few challenges to come in the new year. Plus coffee is gross, right?


Time to party in style.
No pants... check.
Yellow shirt... check.
Sparkling grape juice... check.
Awesome party time... achieved.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ideas For Challenges

Taking every other week off from challenges is probably a good idea, but it is a little boring. I have had time to reflect and think of challenges I want to do.

Coffee
I was looking at this Timeline of a Coffee Drinker and started to think about having a cup. Having never had a sip of real coffee, it would be a good challenge to start off everyday with a full cup of the black liquid. In doing this, I might become more of a grown-up. It also could lead to a terrible unneeded addiction that will drain my pocketbook.

Karaoke
Last night I witnessed one of the greatest feats ever done by human beings. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists played a karaoke set with Andrew W.K. hosting. Karaoke is one of those strange supernatural forces. It is imitating classic music in a cheap way, yet it takes courage to perform. Andrew W.K. said, you have to let go of your dignity and just dive into it. I want to dive in and make a fool of myself (for only seven days).


[Andrew W.K. performing "Louie Louie" with Ted Leo and the Pharmacists]

Vegan
I just celebrated my fifth Thanksgiving as a vegetarian. Becoming vegetarian has been a very positive choice in my life. It was the start of doing what I want to do, no matter what the norm was. I went vegan for two years, but then got drunk and ate some cheese. Since then cheese and I have had a love/hate relationship that I am on the verge to drop. I will start with a week and see what happens.

Bring My Computer to the Coffee Shop
Mac users show off their coolness by using their computer at coffee shops. Being a new Mac user, I feel I don't get the potential out of my computer. I need to break it out of my room and get some work done in front of others. The only downside is that I have a desktop. [This idea was given to me by a friend who likes to remain anonymous, so I will just say he is good at noodling on the guitar.]

Twitter
I am a new Twitter user and am skeptical about its uses, but I think it has its useful applications. I am bad at inviting people to things, so I do most things alone. Twitter allows people to see what I am doing and jump in. Some are scared of Twitter, because they want to keep their life personal. I do not have this fear, so I will Tweet every hour of my awake hours. If there was a way to connect Twitter to my mind while sleeping, I would do it, but I will just enjoy my hours of rest in peace. Alan Dickson's Twitter Feed

Suggestions and Comments
As always, comments and suggestions are welcome.
E-mail: alan.m.dickson@gmail.com
AIM: sternmboy